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Chapter 43
Jen was depressed still, hating her life and every aspect of it. She felt
so alone. Dana didn't call her anymore, well, Jen had been rude to her
when she had. Dana's solution to all Jen's problems was : "Get back
together with Ryan!" Not, thought Jen. I'd rather go out with fucking
Kasey than Ryan.
Kasey was such a prick, she thought. She couldn't believe what a fool she
had been. He had called her, but she had gathered up her self-esteem and
refused to associate with him anymore. She didn't have anybody in her life
anymore. Well, there was Danny who she still talked to. At least he cares
about me, she thought painfully. Nobody else does. She felt guilty about
what she had said to Matt that day, and the whole thing with him. She kept
telling herself he didn't care anymore. It would be conceited to think
otherwise, she thought. She had half a mind to call him, and ask him to
come over. Just to see if he would do it. Should she? She was so lonely,
maybe he would forgive her for being a bitch and come over. Her parents
were gone that night, plus, she reasoned, it's not like she was going to
sleep with him again. She began to get nervous as she looked up his number
in the book. Then she calmed herself down, knowing how nice he was.
Chapter 44
"Hello?" Matt asked.
"Matt? It's Johanna, Lauren's friend."
"Oh, hi."
"Why are you being such a prick to Lauren?" "What? I'm not."
"You're suck a jerk, I swear. You take her virginity and tell her you love
her, and then treat her like this! You never talk to her and you don't
call her anymore! Don't you like her?"
"Um, she's nice."
"You're a jerk, aren't you?"
"No. You can think what you want, I don't care." "Well don't you care what
Lauren thinks?" "Um, not especially."
"Oh my God! You are such a jerk, Matt!" Johanna hung up on him.
Oops, Matt thought. He did care what Lauren thought about him. He did, he
just, he didn't know. He guessed he didn't like her much anymore. Of
course, he told himself, he had been using her all along. He hadn't ever
cared about her.
But he knew he had, though he tried to push that thought out of his mind.
Nobody could tell him what to do, not Lauren or Johanna. Even his parents
were idiots. So maybe he had used her, so what. People used each other
everyday. Jen had used me, he thought bitterly. She used me to piss Ryan
off. They're both bitches, he thought angrily. Then he began to get sad,
knowing he loved one of those bitches, the one he couldn't have. The phone
rang again.
"Hullo?" he asked.
"Matt?" said a female voice, a voice he knew very well.
"Yeah?" he replied, trying to pretend he didn't know it was her. Maybe it
wasn't, he thought. "Um, it's Jen. How are you?"
"Um, fine."
"That's good."
"How are you?" he asked back, his heart pounding so loudly he could barely
hear.
"Aright. So, what's up?"
"Nothing."
"Yeah, me neither."
"Really? Nothing exciting for you on a Friday night?" "Nah, nothing goin'
on. You're not doing anything either?"
His heart raced. Why was she calling him? Did she like him? "Um, no,
nothing."
"Hmm... So, how you been?"
"Fine."
"Yeah... Um, you don't live that far from me, do you wanna come over?"
Was she kidding? Was this some sort of a joke? He wondered if maybe she
hated him and there were some guys waiting there to beat him up. "Well,
why?" he asked. She paused. "Oh, I don't know. I'm bored I guess. If you
don't want to I don't care. I'm just bored," she repeated.
"Well..." he hesitated. "Sure, I mean, I'm really bored too."
"Well, that's cool. Cool, you know where I live right?"
"Yeah, I know! When?"
"Um, I don't care. Now is fine. Whenever." "Okay, I'll be over in awhile,"
he told her casually. "Aright, I'll see you in a bit."
"Aright. Bye."
"Bye."
He hung up, grinning. He was so happy, she didn't hate him, and she wanted
to hang out with him. That must mean she liked him, just as a friend at
least.
"Hey, come in. What's up?" Jen asked him, opening the door to let him in.
Matt felt weird, so weird to be in her house again, and to see her so
relaxed, barefoot as they went into the living room.
"I was just watching TV," she told him as she laid down on the couch.
He nodded, dumbstruck for a minute as he sat next to her.
"What are you watching?" he asked.
"Jeffersons," she said, smiling at him. He laughed, relaxing.
"Well, I guess I should apologize," she told him, putting the TV on mute.
"I'm sorry what I said that day. I didn't mean it."
"Oh." He felt awkward, like he should apologize too. But he didn't have
anything to apologize for. He knew that.
She sat up, scooting in next to him. She looked him in the eyes. "I mean
it. I was a bitch to say that, and I hope you forgive me."
"I forgive you," he told her, then looked away. He did forgive her of
course. Like he could stay mad at her!
"Yeah?" she said, giving him another smile. She was so close to him, her
face was right there. She wanted him to kiss him, he thought. She's horny
and that's why she invited me over.
He nodded, saying gruffly, "Yeah..." Then he leaned in closer to her, and
she didn't pull away. His mouth searched for hers as his eyes closed, and
he hungrily kissed her, his tongue touching hers. Then she pulled away,
and he wanted to die on the spot. "Matt," she sighed.
He wished he was dead. God, why do I do this shit? he thought, angry at
himself for being such a fool. He was so angry. "What?" he asked sullenly,
not looking at her. "Matt," she whined, trying to be cute, he thought.
"What?" he snapped, annoyed. "Why the fuck did you invite me
here?"
She looked surprised. "Matt, what? You think that's why I invited you
here? I just wanted to apologize, then hang out!"
He still didn't look at her. "Yeah," he muttered. "I mean it! What, oh,
that's why you came over, huh? Just to fuck me? Oh, how nice, thank you,"
she said sarcastically, sounding hurt.
"No," he sighed. "That's not why. I-I just thought you wanted it."
"Why?" she said, annoyed. "Wait, you did think that's why I invited you
here."
He paused. "Well, I wanted to make you happy I guess."
"Oh, don't give me that!" she snapped, angry. "Man, why'd you have to do
that? My life sucks, and I was lonely, and all you want is to get off
again. Well thanks but no thanks."
He shook his head. "That's not true! No, I mean, forget it. I just thought
that is what you wanted, but it's not what I wanted."
"Oh, yeah, bullshit," she countered. "That's all you want, just to get
laid. That's the only thing you ever wanted from me," she accused, knowing
that wasn't true but feeling all the more sorry for herself. "That is not!
That's not true at all!" he cried, hurt and angry at the same time.
She didn't answer him.
"It's not! I swear it. I didn't even want to do it then, you know that? I
just, I wanted to make you happy. I wanted to be there for you," he said
honestly, though trying to sound as sensitive as possible.
"Well then you're a real fool if you did it and you didn't want to!" she
told him.
It was like a slap in the face. He had been being honest, and told her
what he had finally figured out after weeks and weeks of pain. He stood
up. "Fine, I don't care anyway," he told her. "Oh, you're gonna fucking
leave. You've been here ten minutes and you're gonna leave. Wait, come on,
I want you to stay. Come on, Matt, don't be pissed!" He ignored her,
feeling cold as he continued toward her front door. He considered yelling
something back to her, about what a bitch she was or whatever to get the
last word, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. Instead he just left.
Chapter 45
"Will you just leave me alone?" snapped Ryan. "God! I'm just trying to
help," responded Darius. "Well you're not helping, okay? You're just
fucking making it worse! I don't want another girlfriend right now. I
don't want another girlfriend!"
"What, are you gonna spend the rest of your life alone because of Jen? How
about when she invites you to her wedding? Are you gonna bring a date or
will you still be hoping she comes back to you? Wake up, Harper! She's not
gonna come back to you!"
"I don't think she is, aright! But maybe I don't want another girlfriend
right now! And you're bugging me about this Jody chick. So fucking knock
it off, will ya?"
"God. It's just that Jen's getting on with her life, and it just bugs me
to see you all by yourself and lonely and shit."
"I'm not by myself and lonely. I've got enough fucking friends! Just
because I don't have a girlfriend doesn't fucking make me lonely."
"Aright! I mean, I know it sucks and stuff, but you should just consider
asking someone to Prom just as a friend. You gotta go, man. It won't be
Prom if you're not there."
"No. I don't want to go. I will not be going so why don't you just drop
it. You've been on my ass since the minute Jen was out the door," Ryan
said angrily. "Don't you even fucking understand?"
"Sure, I understand. I told you, I know it sucks." "You know what Darius,
I don't think you do understand. You've never given a shit about anybody.
You've never been in love, you know that? You don't even know what love
is."
"Man, fuck you. Why do ya gotta get so personal?" "Because we're talking
about personal shit here! And you can't tell me what to do, because we're
not in your territory here. You don't know shit about love or loss or
anything because you've never even loved. And I'm sick of your shit and
you ragging on Jen all the time, like it's supposed to make me feel better
if you call my exgirlfriend a slut or something. So why don't you go out
and get some knowledge about the world and a real fucking relationship and
then you can come back and maybe I'll listen to you."
"Fuck off Harper. You're so fucking sorry you don't even know how sorry
you are. Fuck you!" Darius told him, hanging up.
"No, fuck you!" Ryan yelled as he hung up the phone. "Goddamn fucking
prick," he muttered.
Will came running in without knocking, Robby chasing him.
"Ryan!" Will whined. "Robby took the remote control and he won't let me
watch what I was watching first! I was there first!"
"Yeah, and then you hit me you little baby!" yelled Robby, pushing him.
Will pushed him back, knocking him against the chair, which fell over.
Ryan's books fell onto the floor, his binder opening and papers spilling
out. "Look what you fucking did!" he screamed at his brothers. "Get out of
my room!"
"Stupid brat!" Robby yelled at Will, kicking him in the legs.
"You're the brat!" cried Will.
"You're both brats!" Ryan yelled. "I told you, get the fuck out of my
room!"
"I'm not a brat!" Will cried.
"Yes you are! Now get out! I never said you could come in here! Get out
before I throw you out!" "I hate you Ryan!" Will yelled at him as he ran
out. "Good! I hate you too!" Ryan yelled back. "Dumb brats!" he yelled at
them as he slammed his door. God! He picked his books up off the floor and
threw them on his bed. He stared down at his physics notebook, the one he
had gotten from Jen's house after he had taken her home that time. He
looked at it, his heart skipping a beat as his eyes ran over Jen's
handwriting. "Wyan is da best," it said. "Jen wuvs Wyan." His eyes filled
with tears as he remembered it was old, written one time when he was over
there and they were studying. He picked up the notebook and threw it
against the wall, papers flying out. It felt good to throw it. But not
good enough.
He picked up his math book, a heavy bound book, and threw it at the wall
as hard as he could. It made a satisfying thud. He picked up his physics
book, and threw it at the wall. He threw all his books, even his small
paperback English books, against the wall. He was on such a high, his
anger causing his blood to race through his veins. He felt like driving
his car 100 mph, crashing into a brick wall or off a cliff. He imagined
his car exploding as it rolled down the cliff, a fiery ball.
He jumped on his bed, scattered with papers, and buried his head in his
pillow. He screamed as loud as he could until he went hoarse.
Chapter 46
Danny had his spring break, and he came back down to his old neighborhood.
He of course stopped to see Jen. He was worried about her anyway, he knew
she was upset. Jen was thrilled. She hadn't seen Danny in awhile, since
the last time he returned to their town. Maybe a year. But they had kept
in touch and had become quite good friends since his letter. Now she was
thinking about him again. He was still good looking, extremely sexy. She
remembered kissing him during their brief romance. Before Ryan. She
remembered the time he had kissed her when she had been with Ryan,
remembering what his lips felt like against hers.
She thought about having sex with him. She tried to picture them in her
bed. God she wanted him. God, she was horny. This was the longest she's
gone without sex since she had first done it. Danny didn't have sex much,
he'd only done it with one girl last year. She got more and more excited
thinking about that night, knowing how great it was going to be.
When he came over she gave him a huge hug, pulling him into her house and
squeezing him tight. He looked the same, although he commented on her
different appearance. She shrugged, saying her hair was easier to take
care of like that. He told her she looked nice. He had brought Chinese
food for them, and they sat on her floor and ate it while watching a
movie. Jen was feeling the intensity, and wondered if he felt it too. He
could try something and she wouldn't turn him down. She wondered if he
knew that. Maybe she should make the first move.
Why not? she thought. She would wait for a lull in the movie. She stood up
to get something else to drink, using that as an excuse to sit nearer to
him when she came back. She sat right next to him, closer than she had
been before. Her leg was touching his. She stared straight ahead at the
television, but she could see him looking at her out of the corner of her
eye in the dark room. She looked over at him, and they looked at each
other. She smiled. He smiled back. She leaned in and touched his face,
still smiling. She leaned in further, eyes closed, and kissed him on the
lips. He kissed her back, opening his mouth as she moved even closer to
him.
She straddled his lap where he sat, leaning against the foot of her bed.
They continued to kiss. She gasped slightly from the pressure of his
hardness between her legs. She was so turned on then, he was just so
masculine, so hard.
She stood up slowly, taking his hand to pull him up too. She lay back on
her bed, and he stared down at her. She pulled off her T-shirt, trying to
look as sexy as possible.
"Comere..." she told him with a smile, patting the bed next to her.
He inched towards her, then stopped, still looking at her. Her smile
faded. He looked away.
"What's the matter?" she asked him.
He shrugged. "Nothing's the matter. It's just that, I don't think we
should."
Jen lay there, stunned. She hadn't considered he wouldn't want her. She
sat up, not looking at him. "Oh." "Jen, I mean, I want to do it, but, you
know." She didn't answer, pulling her shirt back on. She felt like such a
fool.
"Jen! Come on," he said, sitting on the bed. He hugged her affectionately.
She tried not to cry, shrinking away from him. "We would regret it. I
don't want to lose your friendship."
"We wouldn't regret it," she muttered. "We would still be friends."
"Jen. You know that's not true. I don't even live here. I have to go back
in a few days." "So?" she said sullenly.
"So?" He paused, looking at her. "Is that what you want? Sex with someone
without a relationship? Doesn't sound like the Jen I know..."
"Well maybe you don't know me," she told him. He looked hurt. "Don't be
like that! What, you want me to fuck you now? And then leave?"
She fought back tears. "No, I didn't mean that. Just, now I feel like an
idiot," she muttered. "Hey, don't feel like an idiot. I mean, believe me,
I want to. I really, really want to," he laughed. She gave him a smile.
"So don't feel rejected or whatever. Because trust me, it's not that at
all."
She nodded, her face crumpling as she started to cry. "Oh, Jen," he said,
hugging her tightly. "Don't cry." "My life sucks," she sobbed into his
arm. God, it felt so good to be held. "It sucks."
"It'll get better. Hey my life sucks too, aright?" "Not as much as my life
sucks," she sobbed. "You'd be surprised! See, you don't want sex, do you?"
She shook her head. "No... I want love. I want you to love me. I want
everyone to love me," she cried. "So does everyone. And everyone that
knows you loves you."
She shook her head. "No. Lots of people hate me." "Nobody hates you. And
if they do they're losers. 'Cause if they know you then they have to love
you." "Ryan hates me," she sobbed.
"I doubt that," he told her.
"And-and Matt, that freshman that I screwed over, he hates me too! I used
him," she sobbed. "I'm such a bitch. And Ryan beat him up. And I told him
I loved him and I didn't!"
He didn't know what to say. "Well, nobody's perfect Jen."
"I'm a slut."
"You're not a slut. If you're a slut than I'm a slut because I would have
sex with anything that moves. Except those who I might lose their
friendship," he added. She nodded. "I'm the ho of the world."
He laughed at her phrase. "That would look good on a business
card."
She laughed. "I just wanna be happy," she told him, still crying.
"So do I."
"I wish my life didn't suck."
"So do I!"
They sat there for a long while, talking. He comforted her and she cried.
Finally he had to leave, but they were much closer than they had been
before. They were much closer than they would have been had they had sex,
and both realized this.
After he left Jen stood in her bathroom looking at her image in the
mirror. She thought about how much she loved Danny, as a friend. She
wondered what would have happened if they had never broken up. She
wondered what would have happened if she had never met Ryan. She thought
about both of those things.
She stared at her reflection. She picked up a lock of her hair and slowly
unbraided it.
Chapter 47
Ryan pulled into his driveway, Robby in the passenger seat next to him.
Neither said anything. He stopped the car but didn't turn off the
ignition. Robby didn't get out, just sat there.
"Um, I'll be back later," he told him.
Robby looked at him. "Where are you going?" Ryan shrugged. "I'll be back."
Robby unbuckled his seat belt and slowly got out of the car. Ryan watched
him as he disappeared into the house. He felt numb as he backed out of the
driveway. He felt helpless, like a child. Hollow, that's how he felt.
Jen was tired, but she couldn't go to sleep yet. She still had four
chapters to do for math, plus at least three hours of work in English.
She'd been up late the night before doing her physics. She hated physics.
She wished she still had Ryan's notes. She'd lost them, she figured. She
had had a dream that Ryan came and took them away in the middle of the
night, but she didn't think about it much; she only bothered to be annoyed
that she'd lost them.
She'd gotten behind in all her classes, but her teachers were all
sympathetic. She had always been a good student, and they were going to
let her make up her work. She told herself she could do it, kept prodding
herself along as she wanted to give up. She looked over at a pile of large
envelopes on her desk, ripped from when they had been opened. Pleased to
tell her that she had been accepted. Accepted. Accepted.
And the reply had been the same from the school where Ryan was going.
Accepted. That had been what she had wanted. It was a great school, and a
huge school. But she couldn't go there. It was impossible now. But her
second choice was just as good, even more prestigious actually, though it
was smaller. And it was out of state.
She tried to picture her dorm, her roommate a faceless figure welcoming
her. She thought of the things she would put on her wall. Pictures of
Dana, and her parents, and Danny, and Melissa. Dana--her best friend. She
knew Dana, she hoped she'd accept her apology, no problems. The other
people she had hurt with her attitude, Melissa, and her parents, she hoped
they would forgive her as well. She knew Melissa she could just call one
day, it's not like she had ever fought with any of her friends really; she
had just sort of been ignoring them for Kasey's crowd for awhile. She knew
who her true friends were.
But Matt, she'd hurt Matt. She promised herself she would talk to him,
really talk to him, before she left. She would always feel horrible for
the way she had treated him, and how much she must have hurt him. She
vowed again to apologize to him before she left. Before she left--she
thought about that again. Her mind wandered back to her new home, and all
the people she would meet. No boyfriend to worry about across the country,
no worrying if he had found someone better. But another image crept into
her mind, a faceless guy, maybe one who lived across the hall from her.
She imagined watching movies in his room, and studying with him as they
groaned about their professors.
She smiled, starting to get excited. See, she told herself, aren't you
glad you never killed yourself? That would have been so lame, she thought.
My life is just beginning.
She tried to picture herself married, to yet another faceless guy. She
imagined herself in the grocery store, maybe running into her old high
school boyfriend, Ryan Harper. They would be cordial, and talk about their
jobs and their spouses. And their kids.
Then she would go home to her family. See, she thought again, my life is
just beginning. She forced herself back to her work, pushing thoughts she
didn't want to hear out of her head.
Jen took a break from studying to watch The Late Show and get something to
eat. She was sitting on her couch eating cereal when she saw headlights
through the curtains and heard a motor. Her heart skipped a beat. She
returned her gaze to the television screen. She wasn't going to go running
out the door for him. She took a few more bites. The doorbell hadn't rung.
Hmm, she thought. The gate was open, maybe it was just someone turning
around in her driveway. She finished her cereal. She watched TV some more,
still wondering about the headlights and the motor she had heard. She had
to return to her studying anyway. She got up and peeked through the
kitchen window. Sure enough, it was there, a very familiar blue Bronco.
She squinted, and saw him. He was still sitting in his car, his head on
the steering wheel.
For a second she wondered if he was hurt. Nah he couldn't be. He was still
sitting there. But she didn't go out to see him. She went back down and
sat on the couch, her mind spinning.
But wait a minute, she thought. This is my house, he's in my driveway. I
have more than a right to see why he is here and what he wants. It doesn't
mean I'm crawling back to him.
She went back to the window, wondering if maybe he had driven away without
her knowing. No, he was still there. She opened the front door, shivering
from the cold night air. He didn't look up as she walked around his car to
the driver's side door. He still didn't look up as she stood there. She
rapped on the window and said his name.
He sat up, looking at her slowly. She made a motion for him to roll down
the window. He did, his eyes swollen and red. She tried to keep her cool.
"What's up?" she asked. It came out gently. He looked down at his hands on
the steering wheel. He shook his head.
"Why are you here?"
Ryan paused. "I-I can't," he croaked.
"Can't what?" God, it felt weird to talk to him again.
"Say it," he told her, looking at her. "I'm not here to try to make you
come back to me Jen, so you know," he added.
"Yeah?"
He nodded. He looked up at the roof of his car. "It's not me, it-it's
Will."
"Will?" she asked, startled. "What's the matter with Will?"
He shook his head, crying again as he put his head back down on the wheel.
She opened the door. "Come on, get out. Tell me!" He got out slowly, then
stood there not looking at her as she
closed the door.
"What happened to Will?" she demanded. "Is he okay?" He shrugged, crying
too hard to speak.
She was frustrated, but scared. She was scared to death right then. "Is he
okay?" she repeated. "They don't know!" he blurted out. "He got hit by a
car Jen," he sobbed. "On his skateboard. They don't know if he's gonna
make it..."
"Oh my God," she said, as her eyes filled with tears. Not Will.
He put his face in his hands, sobbing, "You're my best friend, Jen. I need
you, you're my best friend. I don't care if you hate me but I need you
now..." She could barely see him as she reached for him awkwardly, taking
him in her arms. His strong arms went around her as they stood in her
driveway hugging each other, crying.
"No, come in," she told him. "I don't care." He followed her into her
house, and they stopped in the foyer, where she held him again. He was
crying so hard he could barely stand up.
"He's my little brother," he sobbed. "What am I gonna do if my little
brother dies?"
Jen was crying too hard to answer, she just shook her head, meaning that
Will would be all right. They went into her room where he sat on her bed,
his face in his hands. She sat next to him, hugging him. "He'll be okay,"
she whispered. "He's such a strong kid."
He just kept crying, wiping his eyes.
"He is. He is such a tough kid. He'll make it, he will."
"I love that kid Jen. I love that kid," he cried. "I know you do. I love
him too."
"He can't die," he whispered.
"We just gotta pray, and wish for the best. He's gotta make it!"
"I told him-I told him I hated him Jen!" he sobbed. "The other day I
called him a brat! I said I hated him!" "He knows you love him, Ry. He
knows you were just mad." She was still crying herself.
"He-he said, 'I hate you Ryan!'" he recalled. "And I said-I said..." he
sobbed. "I said, 'Good! I hate you too!'"
"I told you, he knows you love him, so stop thinking about that. You know
he didn't mean it, and he knows you didn't mean it. So stop thinking about
it, huh? It won't do any good. Just-just think positive." "What am I gonna
do if he dies though?" "You can't think that! Stop saying that!" she told
him. "He won't die."
He nodded, wiping his eyes with the Kleenex Jen gave him. "I promised him
I'd take him to the batting cages for his birthday. I never did," he told
her. "You will. You still will."
He shook his head. "I said I would do it on his birthday. Just the two of
us. And I said I couldn't. 'Cause I was too- 'cause I couldn't do it. But
I could have," he whispered. "I just didn't."
"Ryan, look at me. You and your brother, both your brothers, have a great
relationship. He knows you love him. You can't sit here and think of all
the times you teased each other or hit each other or how in 1988 you ate
his piece of cake on purpose or whatever, got it? Because none of that
stuff matters, 'cause you guys have a great relationship."
He nodded, sighing. "I love him."
"Good. I love him too."
"You-you wouldn't believe. He looked so awful Jen," he sobbed. "He had
this big bandage on his head and he was connected to this machine and it
was so awful. He just looked so little. So little."
She held him to her on the bed. "I know," she told him. "He's like my
little brother, too," she cried. She began to cry harder than him, and
they both lay there holding each other crying.
They cried for awhile, sometimes saying something about Will and how
strong he was, or how good of a kid he was. But they cried about other
stuff inside, each getting out a lot of tears that had been held back
recently, despite the copious amounts that had already flowed. Soon it
wasn't about Will anymore as they lay there.
"Oh Jen," he whispered finally. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please!"
She didn't say anything, just lay there in his arms. "I never meant it. I
can't believe I could ever have done anything like that to my darling. I
am so sorry." "I slept with him, Ryan. It won't be the same," she cried.
"It's not the same."
"I don't care! I don't care at all about that! It was my fault, I'm such
an asshole. I don't even deserve to be here with you."
"It's not that. It, no, I don't know..." "I love you Jennifer Marie
Halleran."
She sat up, sniffling. He still lay there, wiping tears away. She sat on
the edge of the bed, silent. She got up suddenly, walking to her dresser
drawer and opening it slowly. She stood there awhile, and he lacked the
energy to get up or even ask what she was doing. She walked back to him,
staring down at him, her eyes as red as his. Sitting next to him on the
bed she held out her fist, then slowly opened it. He looked down at her
open palm.
In it lay a diamond ring.
He stared at it, eyes wide, then reached for it, not believing it was
really there. He took it, looking at it in disbelief.
He looked up. "How? What, did you get the pipes opened or something?"
She shook her head. "I-I never did it. I never flushed it. I just
pretended I did."
He stared at her.
"I put it in my pocket," she told him.
He kept staring at her. "I'm sorry," he whispered, crying.
"I couldn't do it," she said, crying again too. "I was mad, but I couldn't
do it still."
He looked down at the ring in his hand. "The past few weeks have been
hell, Jen."
She didn't say anything.
"Jen, please..." he said softly.
She bit her lip, then fell towards him as she sobbed. He held her to him
tightly as they both cried. "Ryan, I love you," she cried. "I've never
loved anybody else."
"Oh God, baby, I love you. You're my life Jen. I need you back. Please
come back."
She nodded on his shoulder, crying too hard to speak.
Chapter:
Preface
01-03
04-06
07-09
10-12
13-15
16-18
19-21
22-24
25-27
28-30
31-33
34-36
37-42 43-47
48-49
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