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Chapter 19
Her fears of him leaving her once they did it were all unfounded, instead
they became even closer. Their lovemaking only added to their
relationship; nothing was taken away. Both would have died if the other
broke up with them.
A month or so after they first did it, he was going to take her out to eat
and to the theater Saturday night. She called him around five to see how
he was doing; he'd been busy that afternoon and they hadn't talked yet.
He'd said he'd come over at six or so. His mom answered the phone.
"Hi Karen, what's up? Is Ryan there?" Jen asked. His mom paused. "No."
"Oh. Well, this is Jen."
"I know," she said curtly.
What's the matter, she thought? "Oh, well anyway we're going out tonight
and I just wanted to call him to see what's up."
"Oh really?" asked his mom sarcastically. "Where are you going?"
"Um, to dinner? And to a movie?" asked Jen, her heart racing. His mom was
still speaking in that tone. "Are your parents going to be there?"
"My parents? You mean are they coming with us?" she responded, surprised.
Jen knew something was up. Was Karen mad at her? What had she done?
"No. I mean, will they be at your house or will they be gone?"
"Um, I think they'll be home," she said slowly. Uh oh.
"Good. I don't want Ryan going to your house anymore, especially when your
parents aren't home. Do you understand?" she demanded.
Jen gulped, her heart beating in her ears. What could she say?
"I guess," she said.
Karen took her surprised tone as being sarcastic. "Good. And another
thing, I don't want you coming over here anymore either. Maybe if JR or
myself is here. Especially if Will and Robby are here and Ryan is supposed
to be watching them. Got it?"
She tried to keep from crying. She played with her shoelace, still holding
the phone to her ear. She couldn't bring herself to ask why. "Yes," she
whispered. "That's good. You know, Ryan may think he's a grown man but
he's not. His parents still make the rules. I hope you can understand
that," she said coldly. "Yeah, I do."
"Good. Good-bye Jen."
"Good-bye," she stumbled.
His mom hung up.
Jen laid back on the bed. She squeezed her eyes shut and the tears began
to fall. Why was his mom being like this? Why did she hate her? I betcha
she knows we've slept together, she thought. Fuck! Now she hates me, she
thought, crying into her pillow. She's not going to let Ryan see me
anymore. She panicked at the idea. Still crying, she got into the shower.
He might still come over, she reasoned. She had to talk to him. What would
he do? Would his mom convince him that she was a slut? No, he'd never
think that about her. She got angry as she stood in the hot water. Stupid
bitch, she thought.
What's her problem? I can't believe this crap. When she got out of the
shower there was a message from Ryan on her machine. She hadn't heard the
phone ring in the shower. He was still coming over, and he hadn't sounded
like anything was wrong. His mom must not have said anything, she thought.
How did she know? She got even angrier. Ryan must have told her. Big
mouth. Or he told his dad, and of course JR told her. She wondered if JR
thought she was a slut too.
She tried not to think about it as she got ready. She couldn't cry
anymore, not after she put her makeup on. She turned the radio on. She had
thought she knew what she was going to wear, a simple black dress that
Karen had once complimented her on. She changed her mind, resenting his
mom and the stupid dress. Instead she chose a dark blue dress, with black
nylons and heels. She hoped she looked pretty.
She leaned over the sink, applying the finishing touches to her makeup.
She heard the front door open, and heard Ryan say hi to her parents, then
come bounding down the hall, calling her name. He never had to ring the
bell anymore. Jen stayed in the bathroom while he pushed open her bedroom
door and came into the bathroom. He smiled at her in the mirror. He took
his hand from behind his back, and held out flowers. She widened her eyes,
putting on yet more eyeliner. He came up behind her, wrapping his arms
around her.
"You look beautiful," he whispered. "And you smell nice too!"
She looked down as she put the lid back on the pencil.
"I brought you flowers," he offered, holding them out again.
"I know. I saw," she said quietly, not looking at him.
"Awright, what's the matter?" he asked. She didn't answer him, but instead
walked back into her bedroom, picking up the wet towel off the floor. He
followed her.
"What? Are you mad at me?" he asked. Dammit, he thought. I didn't do
anything!
"Not exactly," she answered.
"Well then, what exactly? I know you're upset. What did I do?" he
demanded.
She sighed, sitting down on the bed. She knew she was going to cry. He
kneeled on the floor before her, taking her hands.
"What?!? What's the matter? Oh Jen, are you pregnant?" he whispered.
She shook her head furiously, leaning over her lap as she started to cry.
He held her head. "Baby, what's the matter?" he whispered. Oh shit, he
thought. She's breaking up with me.
She said something he couldn't understand. She was crying too hard. He
prompted her, raising her face up so she looked at him.
"I can't hear you if you bury your face in your arms," he told her. "Come
on, can't you tell me?" "You mom hates me!" she repeated, sobbing and
wiping the tears away from under her eyes, so as not to smudge her
mascara.
"What?!?" he exclaimed. "My mom doesn't hate you! Why do you say that?"
She nodded tearfully. "Yes she does!" she insisted. "They hate me. She
thinks I'm a slut."
He sat on the bed next to her. "She doesn't! What happened?" he asked
slowly.
She began, telling him the story of the phone call, ending with, "Ry! She
knows we did it! Now she hates me!"
Ryan was furious at his mother. How dare she treat Jen that way?!?
"Ryan, did you tell her we did it? Did you tell your dad?" she demanded.
He paused, then nodded.
"Ryan!' she screamed, sobbing again. "Why did you have to tell him? That
was really stupid. Why?!?" "He asked if we'd done it! I didn't think he'd
tell my mom! He wasn't mad at all, Jen. He told me about his first time
and we had 'a little moment' you could say."
She was still mad. "Well look where your 'little moment' got us," she
snapped.
"Jen, he asked me straight up whether we'd done it yet. I wasn't going to
lie. He doesn't mind, really he doesn't. He loves you Jen, they both do.
We didn't do anything wrong, got it? I don't know what my mom's problem
is," he said angrily. "She had no right to treat you like that, okay? I'm
not a little baby. You can come over anytime you like Jen, okay? It
doesn't matter what she thinks."
She shook her head. "It's her house, Ry. If she doesn't want me there then
I can't come over. They are your parents, Ryan."
"Yeah, but I want you there, okay? I will be disobeying her, not you! And
I bet you my dad will be on our side. We're going to get this settled once
and for all, okay?"
She didn't say anything.
"My mom probably just has PMS," he said, trying to lighten the
mood. He didn't want to scream and yell in front of her, it always upset
her when he did, and plus, she was upset enough already. "Jen, I gotta go.
I'm gonna go home and find out what the fuck my mom's problem is, okay?
I'll come back though, I promise. You stay here." She nodded.
He hugged her. "Jen, you are the most important thing in my life, got it?"
She smiled.
Ryan drove home as fast as he could. He couldn't remember the last time
he'd been so angry. He made it home in ten minutes, pulling into the
driveway and slamming on his brakes. He ran into the house, slamming the
front door behind him. He ran into the living room, where his parents sat
watching TV.
"How dare you say that to Jen!" he yelled at his mother.
His dad looked up quickly. Ryan stood there, staring at his mom like he
was about to kill her. "Ryan! Don't speak to your mother that way!" he
ordered.
He ignored his father. His mom just looked back at him. "Well?" he
demanded. "What the hell's your problem?" His father jumped up. "Would you
mind telling me what is this all about?" he said angrily.
"Your wife told my girlfriend, that she is not allowed to come over here
anymore, and that I am not allowed to go over to her house anymore. She
was completely rude to her. I'd like to know where you get off saying that
shit!"
His mom slammed the magazine down. "Don't you speak to me like that!" she
snapped, jumping up. "You may think you're an adult, but you live in my
house, and you will not speak to me like that! Ever!" Ryan threw his hands
up in the air. "Oh yes! I am just a little baby who doesn't know anything!
I have to consult my mommy before I do anything!" he yelled sarcastically.
"Well wake up! I have a life and I will do what I please!"
JR grabbed his arm but he pushed him off. "What's the matter with you? You
promised me you wouldn't tell!" he yelled in his dad's face.
"What the hell is this all about?"
"Your wife thinks my girlfriend is a slut, now, because you
couldn't keep your damn mouth shut. I confided in you, and you had to run
off and tell her, because, for, whatever reason you did it!"
"I never said she was a slut!" yelled his mom. "Well, practically! That's
how you made her feel anyway!" he yelled back.
JR looked at his wife, then his son, who both were fuming with the same
fiery temper. "I don't know what all happened here," he began, "but I'm
sure we can all sit down and talk about this like adults, okay?" "I just
want an apology for Jen, okay?" said Ryan. "Nobody speaks to my girlfriend
like that. Nobody!" he yelled at his mother.
"Aright, aright!" snapped his dad, grabbing Ryan and forcing him to sit
down.
"You need rules, Ryan!" shouted his mother. "You are not an adult. I will
not sit by and let you have sex and whatever else you're doing! You are
too young!" "Oh yeah?!? How old was dad?" he asked pointedly. "Let's get
this straight," said his father calmly. "You told Jen that she was no
longer allowed to come over here anymore? That was really out of line. We
didn't discuss that at all, Karen."
"I didn't say that, I only said that she could only come over when we're
here."
Ryan rolled his eyes. "Same damn thing," he said. "Especially when the
boys are here. They're very impressionable and I don't want them thinking
sex is okay for them!"
"Give me a break! They're little kids! And what, do you think we're going
to do it when they're in the room or something? You guys have sex! Will
they think it's okay for them because you do it too?"
"Well, we're married. You and Jen are not. And you're still too young!"
"Oh, yeah. I suppose you waited until your wedding night."
Karen blushed. "You are too young!" she repeated, still shouting.
His dad yelled at her, "I told you that in confidence too! I didn't think
you were going to yell at Jen! I can't believe this. You owe her an
apology Karen. You were way out of line!"
She burst into tears. Ryan groaned; he hated it when his mom cried. Sure
enough, his dad retreated, saying he was sure she meant well and that they
did need to discuss some ground rules.
"This is bullshit!" shouted Ryan. "We are in love. We are! I don't give a
flying fuck what you have to say about it either! What's the matter with
you? If it comes down to you or Jen, I'm sorry, but you are not going to
win."
"What is that supposed to mean?" sobbed his mom. "You'd turn your back on
your family?"
"Will you force me to? Are you gonna make me? I will if you force it.
You'll chase me away. Why don't you wake up and realize I am not a little
boy anymore!" "Well when you live in my house you will do what I say!"
shot back Karen.
"Well then maybe I won't live in your house!" "Oh yeah? Where are you
going to live?" "I don't care, I'll drop out of school and get an
apartment if I have to. I'll get a full time job so I can live. You're not
gonna run my life!"
"Do her parents know you had sex?" demanded his mom. "Do they? I'm willing
to bet they don't. I'm sure they'd feel the same way I do."
"Man, I'm outta here," Ryan snapped, walking to the door angrily.
"Where are you going?" demanded his father. "You're running away like a
child!"
"No, I'm walking away like an adult!" he shouted back.
"Goddammit Ryan!" shouted his dad, as his son stomped out of the living
room.
Will and Robby stood crouched in the kitchen, eavesdropping. "Where are
you going Ryan?" asked Robby, wide-eyed, while Will whispered tearfully,
"Is Jen not gonna come over anymore?"
"She is if I say she is!" he yelled, slamming the front door as he left.
He drove around for awhile, just simmering in his anger. He thought about
his options. He was fully prepared to do what he'd said. His parents
weren't going to run his life. What if they took his car? he thought.
Shit, I don't care. He could stay with Jen for at least tonight. He could
leave then sneak back in if her parents were still up.
Finally he went back to her house. She was eating dinner with her parents
when he walked in. She just looked at him, and he stared back down at her
as her mom insisted he eat with them. He was starving, it was almost nine
o'clock.
"I thought you guys were going to go out on a date tonight," said her dad
as he sat down and got served up. No longer dressed up, she looked at
Ryan. "We had a change in plans," she told her parents. "Well, that's
okay. You're always welcome for dinner Ryan," smiled her mom.
He thanked her, taking a sip of his milk. Jen played with her food.
"So what are you two going to do tonight?" asked her mom cheerfully.
"I don't know," said Jen. "Probably just hang out. We'll see."
"Aright," said her mom. "That's good. You have enough?" she asked Ryan.
"Oh, yeah. Plenty! You're such a great cook," he complimented.
"Well, thank you!"
He finished his meal hurriedly. Finally he thanked her parents for the
food again, and slid back his chair. She excused them and he followed her
down the hall. She closed the door, but of course didn't lock it (her
parent's rule).
"What happened?" she asked. "Did you get in a huge fight?"
He nodded. "Yeah, it was pretty ugly."
"It was because she knows we did it?"
"Yeah."
Jen looked upset. "What happened?"
"Man! My mom's such a bitch. She just kept saying, 'You're too young! This
is my house, my rules,'" he mimicked.
Jen sighed. "So I can't come over anymore." "Well, it was sort of ugly,"
he continued. "God, my dad's such a wimp!" he said angrily. "He was all on
our side, he even told my mom she was way out of line! Then she started to
cry and he flaked."
"Oh, Ryan..." He didn't say anything, just held her to him on the bed. "So
what happened?"
"Well, basically I told them to fuck off." "Yeah?"
"Yeah! And I sort of told my mom that I wasn't going to abide by her
stupid rules."
"What did she say?"
"She said that if I lived there I would have to." "Yeah? And what did you
say?"
"I said that maybe I wouldn't live there anymore." "Ryan! You have to live
there. That's your home!" she exclaimed.
"Yeah, but I'm not going to live with them telling me what to do like this
and treating us this way." "Yeah, but what would you do? Where could you
live? I'd say you could live with me, but I think my parents sort of
wouldn't go for that!"
"I'll get an apartment! I can get another job. I can drop out for now, and
work full time until I get on my feet."
"Ryan! Don't be ridiculous. You're not going to drop out of school. I
won't let you. I'd break up with you before I'd do that!"
"Why? Come on Jen, I'm not going to live with that stupid bitch."
"Ryan! Don't talk about your mother that way!" she snapped.
"What the hell?!?" he demanded, sitting up. "Whose side are you on,
anyway?"
"Ryan, I'm on your side. But please don't be a jerk, okay?"
"Fine!" he snapped back. He sighed, laying back down on the bed.
She held him to her again, his head resting on her stomach while she
stroked his hair. "It'll be okay," she whispered hopefully. "I bet it
will. I think your mom just overreacted. Maybe she's in shock or
something. You are her first born you know."
He sighed. "I know."
"See? It'll be okay, I promise you. You're overreacting too; you won't
need to move away. Give her some time to calm down. And you to calm down
too. You guys both have a bad temper!"
"Yeah, I know."
They lay on the bed for awhile, just thinking. She was so comforting to
him, he could never stay angry very long when he was with her. She always
soothed him, and knew the right thing to say to him.
She was still stroking his hair when the phone rang. It rang again. She
made no motion to get it, then sighed. He sat up, saying, "If it's them
I'm not here." She reached over for it. "Hello?"
"Hello Jen, this is JR, Ryan's father. Is he over there?"
She paused, giving Ryan a pointed look. He shook his hand frantically.
"Hold on a second," she said, covering up the receiver. "It's your dad!"
she whispered fiercely. "I'm not here!" he whispered back.
"Yes, you are! Ry, I'm not going to lie to them. I don't want to give them
another reason to hate me." He sighed. "Fine. Tell him I'm here then." Jen
got back on the phone. "Yes, he's here." "May I speak with him please?"
"Hold on." She gave the phone to him.
"What?" he demanded rudely into the phone. Jen pinched him. "Hello?" he
sighed.
"Ryan, you need to come home. We need to discuss some things with you. We
discussed it and your mother has some things she needs to say to you."
"Well, I don't have anything to say to her." "Ryan, please come home,"
said his dad seriously. "I'll think about it," he said defiantly. "Well
good. Come home tonight. Come on, swallow your pride for once. You need to
do that in life sometimes." "I know," he said, sighing. "Yeah, I'll be
over there pretty soon."
"Good. Can I speak with Jen a second?"
"Yeah, I guess," he said, handing the phone over to her. "He wants to talk
to you."
"Me?" she asked. She took the phone. "Hello?" "Hi Jen. I heard what you
said and I want you to know we don't hate you. Ryan's mother was just a
bit upset, and she overreacted. You got the brunt of it I'm afraid. Ryan's
going to come home and we're all going to talk. I'm sure you can still
come over all you like, if I have anything to say about it anyway."
She smiled. "Thanks. Thanks a lot. It's okay, really."
"That's good. Well, tell Ryan I'll see him soon." "Sure. Bye."
"Bye."
She hung up the phone.
"What'd he say?"
"Oh, that your mom just overreacted and stuff and that he was sure I can
still come over. Your dad is really cool, don't be a dick to him."
"I'm not. I'm gonna go home tonight."
"Yeah, he said so.
"I'll wait awhile I think."
She nodded.
He felt much better, although he was still angry, and apprehensive about
going home. He lay back down again, staring up at the ceiling.
She tried not to cry, still feeling very emotional about the whole thing.
Finally he stood up. He looked at her, and leaned over and hugged her.
"Thanks," he said, squeezing her nose affectionately. "You always make me
feel better you know." "I love you," she said, the tears spilling over. "I
love you too. Don't cry baby. I gotta go now. I'll be back soon."
She nodded. He kissed her, then left.
She woke up from the knock on her window. It was Ryan. She got up and let
him into the dark room. He hugged her.
"What happened?" she whispered.
"It's cool now. My mom said she's sorry." "Yeah?" she asked, relieved,
climbing back into bed. He followed her under the blankets, still in his
clothes. He tossed his baseball hat onto the desk, kicking off his shoes
and pushing them off the bed. "Yeah. She's going to apologize to you too.
She does like you Jen. They both love you. She was just mad at me." Jen
sighed. He kissed her, hugging her tight. "And they don't think you're a
slut. They never did. They know we're in love."
"Well what did they say about me coming over?" she whispered.
"Oh not much except you can. All you want. I can have anyone over as long
as they don't trash the house you know. And you're not likely to do that!"
She giggled. "Darn. I'm gonna be scared to come over though," she
whispered.
"Why?"
"Because! It's so awkward."
"Yeah, I know. But don't worry; things will be back to normal soon."
She nodded.
"But she still said she thought we were too young to have sex. But that if
I did it with anyone she was glad it was you."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Oh, and the thing with my brothers is still there. She doesn't want
us doing it when they're there. Or at least when they're awake or I'm
supposed to be watching them."
"That's fine. I can understand that."
"Yeah me too."
"What did your dad say?"
"He said that he was sorry and blah blah. And that we need to be careful
and all the dad stuff." "We are. They're not going to tell my parents are
they?" she whispered. She'd been petrified of that. Her parents would
probably freak worse than his did. "Ah, I doubt it. I don't think they
would do that." "Good. I hope they don't," she sighed. "Oh, I'm so glad we
can still see each other!"
"Yeah. Don't worry. No one could ever prevent me from seeing you or keep
us apart, got it?"
"Yeah, I know. I love you."
"I love you too." He held her to him. "Are you tired?" he whispered.
"Yeah..." she answered.
"Oh."
"But let's do it anyway," she whispered, kissing him. In the dark, under
the covers, she undressed him while he kissed her. He lay on top of her,
and she pulled her T-shirt off, breathing heavily. He went down, his mouth
between her legs while she gasped. He licked and kissed her and she moaned
softly. She was no longer sore, and longed to feel him in her once again.
They'd done it many times since that first night, sneaking away and making
love whenever they'd had the chance.
Now he sucked her clitoris, and she came soon, arching her back and
opening her mouth as though to scream, but no sound came out. She lay back
down, trying to catch her breath.
He climbed back up, laying on top of her and entering her quickly as she
brought her knees up to his hips. He breathed a sigh of relief as he slid
up into her. Being in her was like heaven; he'd never felt anything so
great, or cum as hard as when he was up in her. He thrust a few times, but
it was too intense; he came soon after he entered her. He groaned and
stiffened while she held her to him.
He was fairly disappointed in his lack of stamina so far with sex. The
first time they did it for the night it was always over like that, and he
felt ashamed at how quickly he came. But she reassured him that it was
fine. Luckily, he rarely needed a lot of time before he could do it again,
and again. After the first thrill was over, he could keep himself going
over and over all night. Maybe it was because he was only sixteen, but
they enjoyed his prowess; already they'd spent many nights going at it
till the early hours of the morning. He pulled her on top of him, and she
took him in her again, while she gasped in pleasure. It was incredible.
She'd learned how to keep her balance and ride him, which he loved. There
was nothing better than laying back and letting her take charge of her
pleasure, watching her rocking above him while her breasts hung in his
face.
She grunted and gasped and swore at him in his ear. He'd laughed at her
when she first starting doing that; he'd never heard her swear so much as
when she was cumming. Now it turned him on, when she groaned for him to
fuck her it made him wild.
She still ground herself into him above him, her sweaty chest pinned to
his. They kissed and kissed and he thrust back into her while he lay
there. She buried her head in the pillow and screamed. God, we're lucky
her parents are sound sleepers, he thought. Cumming, she whimpered while
her muscles contracted over and over, squeezing his dick rhythmically. He
came himself at the same time, ejaculating high up into her, and they held
each other and muffled their cries of pleasure. She kept moving on him
until they were both exhausted, and finally she just collapsed back on
him, breathing hard. "That was good," he whispered, gasping. "Oh yeah,"
she breathed.
"I love you so much," he whispered in her ear. "I love you too."
Chapter 20
Karen did apologize to Jen the first chance she had. It was hard for Jen
to look her in the eye, but soon everything was back to normal.
In the summer they had a barbecue, with friends and family over. All the
kids swam and played volleyball. As it turned into evening it began to get
a bit chilly, and Jen was still in the pool, trying to keep warm. Ryan was
sitting on a lawn chair, trying to soak up the last of the sun's rays.
"Ryan," said his mom, who was wrapping up the food while she chatted with
a friend. "Will you go get me a sweater? It's getting cold."
"Just a minute, okay?" he replied.
"Ryan, I asked you now, okay?"
"Will you just hold on a minute?"
"I'll go get it, Mom!" volunteered Will, jumping up. "Where is it?"
"Um, it should be in the kitchen," she told her youngest son.
Ryan rolled his eyes at Will's obvious brown-nosing. Right then Jen came
over from the pool, wrapped in a towel. She sat on the edge of Ryan's lawn
chair, shivering as her teeth chattered. He took his own towel and wrapped
it around her shoulders.
"You cold?" he asked.
"Yes!" she laughed. "It was so hot like an hour ago!" He sat up. "You want
your clothes, or a sweatshirt or something?"
She nodded, shivering. "Yeah, please. Thanks hon," she told him as he
jumped up and ran into the house. It was Karen's turn to roll her eyes.
"Hmph," she said as she carried food into the house. JR grinned at her
while he covered the barbecue. "What?" Jen asked, confused.
"She just asked Ryan to get her a sweater. He wouldn't."
"What?" she exclaimed, sounding surprised at Ryan. "Why not?"
JR shrugged. "I don't know. He told her to wait, but Will offered to go
get it for her."
Jen laughed. "Will. Yeah, he's her little baby," she noted.
His dad smiled again. "Yeah, but Ryan is her first born. Ryan used to be
her little baby you know." Jen looked surprised as she now understood what
his dad had been laughing about. "Yeah, but he's my little baby now!" she
told him with a coy smile. He laughed again. "Yeah, and I bet she's knows
it. She's known it for awhile," he told her with another grin.
Ryan came back out then with her clothes. They looked at him hurrying out
and laughed.
"What?" Ryan asked them, mystified.
They just laughed as Jen gave him a hug and kiss and said thank you.
Chapter 21
Jen was awoken by footsteps outside her door. It was Ryan of course, and
soon he was in her bed. He lay next to her, holding her tightly in the
dark. She kissed him, and climbed on him, pulling her shirt off. He
responded, kissing her back as he lay there. She stripped him, sucking his
cock until it was hard. He tried to go down but she pulled him back up,
eager to have him in her. He slid it in, and she sighed as he began
thrusting on top of her. She lay back and closed her eyes. He began to
kiss her as his hard dick moved in and out of her.
Suddenly he stiffened, and stopped moving, then pulled out of her. She
opened her eyes to see him looking down between them. In a flash he was
off her, laying on his stomach as he faced the wall. "Ryan?" she
whispered. What was the matter? He wouldn't look at her, and she figured
it out. What could she say? She felt horrible, ugly and unattractive. But
she knew that he didn't think so. She looked the same as she had the last
time they did it. "It's okay..." she told him, rubbing his back. "Are you
drunk?" she asked. She didn't think he was. He shook his head slowly,
still not looking at her. He got up then, pulling his pants on in the
dark. "Where are you going?" she asked. "Are you leaving?" "I gotta go,"
he mumbled.
"Ryan! Don't leave!"
He ignored her, sitting on the bed as he quickly tied his shoes. She
touched his arm, but he shook her off. "Ryan! Talk to me!" she begged, in
tears. He left quietly. She lay back in the bed, crying. Why wouldn't he
talk to her? She didn't care about what happened. Maybe he thought she
thought he was a failure or something? That could be the only thing. But
why had it happened? And why did he have to leave? The whole thing was so
weird.
She looked at the clock. It wasn't too late, only 10:30. She turned on the
light, picking up her phone and dialing.
"Hello?" asked a male voice.
"Danny?"
"Yeah. Hi."
"Hi, it's Jen..."
"Hey Jen! What's up? How are you?" he asked. "Good... Well, kinda bad
actually," she whispered. "What's the matter? I haven't talked to you in a
couple weeks."
"It's Ryan..."
"What- did you guys break up?"
"No. It's just, something happened."
"What?"
"Well, I need a guy's advice. And I need to talk to you especially because
you don't know Ryan much, and he won't find out I told."
"Aright. You can tell me. I'll try to help. What happened?"
"Well... I guess it's embarrassing. Well, he came over, and we were doing
it, and, and then he couldn't do it anymore..." she told him.
"What? Oh, you mean he went soft?" he asked, surprised.
"Yeah! And he got really upset and he left and he wouldn't even talk to
me," she whined. "He just said, 'I gotta go,' and he left."
"Hmm... Was he drunk?"
"No. I asked him and he said he wasn't. I mean, I don't care. It's not
like I was using him for sex and that's it or something."
Danny sighed. "Hmm... Man! I mean, I'm sure he's really upset, and he was
probably too upset to talk." "Well why did it happen?" she demanded. "What
did I do? Has it ever happened to you?"
"No, of course not!" he insisted.
She laughed. "No, really."
"No, actually it hasn't. Not with a girl. But," he added honestly. "It
probably will happen some day. Probably more than once even. It happens to
every guy sometime, but it's not like we talk about it."
"Well why did it happen?"
"I don't know. Maybe he was tired, or he didn't want to do it probably. He
probably didn't want it but he didn't know, and that was his little dude's
way of saying, 'Hey! I'm tired and I don't want to work tonight!'" She
laughed, feeling better. "But he wouldn't talk to me. He just left," she
said glumly.
"Yeah, he was upset. He's probably stressed too," Danny added.
"Do- do you think he feels like a failure maybe? Isn't that how guys
feel?"
"Oh, maybe. I mean, you tell me. You know him a lot better than I do!"
"Well, I don't know. I thought he wanted to do it," she said glumly.
"Did you instigate or did he?"
"Well, he came over! I guess that's instigating." "Coming over isn't
instigating unless he shows up naked. Maybe he
just wanted to hang out. So what did he do when he came over? Did he rip
your clothes off?"
"No... Actually, I ripped his clothes off," she admitted, feeling bad.
"Maybe I should have asked him if he wanted to do it?"
"Well, yeah, you should have."
"Oh," she said, feeling even worse."
"Well, has he ever said no?"
"No. I don't think he ever has."
"Well, he probably would have said yes anyway, even if he didn't want to.
Maybe, who knows." "Why?" she whined. "Why the hell can't he just tell me
he didn't want to?"
"Maybe he feels like it's his duty. To please you you know. Well I'm sure
he thinks like pleasing you is his duty, but now maybe he feels like, like
a piece of meat!"
Jen laughed again. "But how am I supposed to know if he wants to do it or
not if he won't tell me?" "I don't know. Maybe you guys need to talk. Make
sure he knows it's okay for him to say no. Of course," he added. "I can't
tell you for sure if that's the problem, he maybe was just too tired or
stressed or something. But don't demand a reason from him, 'cause he
probably has no clue either and feels bad."
"He left. Should I call him? Or maybe go see him?" "Well, you can. He
probably just went driving around, looking for the nearest cliff to drive
off..." "Danny!" she laughed.
"I'm just kiddin' you. I mean, he'll probably come back. Just give him a
hug and tell him you love him, and don't say anything about it unless he
does first. Don't make him talk about it unless he wants to." "I guess..."
"Okay?"
"Yeah. You've been a big help, Danny. Thank you." "No problem. Are you
gonna tell him you talked to me?'
"Hell no! He'll shoot me!"
Danny laughed. "I know, I was just kiddin'. Tell him I say 'hi' when he
comes back," he teased. "Yeah sure! Well, I gotta go. Talk to you later."
"Bye, kiddo."
"Bye."
Jen lay back, feeling better. But her room was still lonely without Ryan
there. She sighed. She shut off the light and went back to bed. A few
hours later she fell asleep.
When she woke up it was nearly light outside. Ryan was laying next to her,
looking at her. She inched closer to him, and hugged him. "I love you,"
she mumbled.
"I love you too."
She smiled, then closed her eyes again as she rested her head on his
chest. She didn't say anything else, and neither did he. They both fell
asleep.
When he woke up she wasn't in bed. He lay there still, tired. Eventually
she came back into her room with a flower from her backyard.
"This is for you," she told him, handing it to him shyly.
He took it, smiling at her. "Thanks."
She climbed back into the warm bed, stretching as she lay next to him. She
didn't say anything. He started. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "Oh yeah?
You shouldn't be."
"Yes I should. Last night- it wasn't very good last night."
"Yeah?"
"You know. I'm sorry."
"Well, I wished you would have stayed and talked to me. I don't care at
all about what happened." "Yeah, I should have stayed..."
"You know I don't care about what happened. I don't care at all."
He paused. "Well, it's never happened to me before. I don't know..."
"I'm sorry if I ever put pressure on you. You know I love you, not it."
"You don't put pressure on me..."
"Well, I do. See, you wanted to give me pleasure, by going down on me, but
I wouldn't let you. I made you get hard and I didn't even ask you if you
wanted to do anything. See." "Maybe..."
"And you put pressure on you too," she told him quietly, playing with the
blanket. "It's okay for you to say no. Just like it's okay for me to say
no. Got it?" He nodded.
"And I'm sorry about what happened before," she told him quietly. "I still
feel really bad about what a bitch I was."
"When?"
"You know... A couple of weeks ago."
He laughed. "Jen, I think it's funny that you made me do it so much! I
told you I'm not mad." "No, see, but what I said and stuff. I know I told
you I didn't mean it, and I was out of my mind and all, but maybe you
still think about it..."
"No, Jen! I don't!"
She rubbed his shoulders. "Maybe you do." "I told you, I don't!"
"I never meant it," she whispered. "I know maybe you think, maybe... I
don't know... Maybe I hurt you a lot?" She started to sniffle, wiping her
eyes. "Jen!" he said. "Are we still talking about the same thing here?"
She nodded. "Yes! 'Member when I said that if you loved me you would be
able to do it again?" she cried. He groaned, pulling her to him. "Don't
worry about it. I know you didn't mean it. You were drunk." She shook her
head frantically. "No! You know, you say that you shouldn't excuse
someone's behavior because they were drunk. It still counts."
He didn't say anything.
"But I didn't mean it."
He sighed. "I know you didn't," he said quietly, looking at his hands.
"I love you."
He smiled, and nodded. "I love you too." "And you know, we don't have to
make love for me to feel close to you, for us to feel close," she
whispered. "You know?"
He smiled. "I know. I love you."
"I love you too!" She kissed him. "Now let's have a great day, okay?"
"Sure. Let's have a great rest of our lives."
Chapter:
Preface
01-03
04-06
07-09
10-12
13-15
16-18 19-21
22-24
25-27
28-30
31-33
34-36
37-42
43-47
48-49
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