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I hung up the phone and just sat there. Somewhere,
deep in the recesses of my brain, I was just beginning to realize that I
had just answered a personal ad. Shit, was I this desperate? God, I hoped
not. And I really didn't think I was. I had never read them with the
intent of finding that "special someone...."
I read them more out of curiosity than anything else. I always started off
reading the "Women seeking Women" section. Like many other males, had a
secret fantasy to be with two girls at once. Of course, I never expected
my fantasy to take place, but it was still fun to dream, right?
Then I paged back to the "Women seeking Men" section. I breezed through a
few of them, getting a couple of good chuckles. Personal ads always remind
me of the farcical ads placed with Opus on "Bloom County": "Single,
sincere white female, 43, wishes to meet single, sincere, limber Eskimo
who's into tattoos, bananas, gargling Windex, cactus, sleeping with large
tomatoes, and snake wrestling in Jell-o pudding."
And, of course, the last line was: "No freaks." As I was reading them, I
noticed that the small, weekly newspaper that ran the personal ads was
trying out a new system. Each personal ad was accompanied by a voice ad.
All one had to do was call a local number, punch in the "mailbox" of the
ad I wanted to hear, and it would be played for me. I thought that was an
interesting twist, so I decided to try it out.
I brought the paper home with me and dialed the number. I scanned the
paper and found one that sounded interesting. I punched the mailbox number
and sat back to listen. After the announcement, I decided that the voice
message was actually a pretty good idea. It gave somebody a little more to
go on. It was a little easier to determine the person's personality by
listening rather than just reading a newspaper ad.
I listened to a couple more. Finally, I decided that I was just going to
listen to one more and then go do some work. The last one in the section
caught my eye. It read:
SWF, 25, honest, romantic, adventuresome, equally comfortable watching a
movie or being outside playing sports. 5'9", 135, light brown hair, blue
eyes. Professional woman. Seeks SWM, 23-30, who is honest, laid back yet
not too laid back. Prefer my height or taller, dark hair with light eyes,
but am willing to negotiate. Box 1384
That sounded particularly interesting. I dialed the box number and sat
back to listen.
I could hardly believe my ears. First of all, her voice was so sexy. It
didn't even seem like she was trying, either. And then what she was saying
was enticing, too. She was really into sports, both watching and playing.
She felt equally comfortable eating at Taco Bell and at a fancy
restaurant. She was a marketing rep for a telecommunications firm that
sold voice mail products. She didn't qualify herself as desperate for
turning to a personal ad. She just said she was open minded and wasn't
going to cut down her options.
In her description of her ideal male, she almost perfectly described me.
The only thing she left out was my name. It was really uncanny. The
clincher was that she liked men that were honest and open "to a fault."
Now I fit that perfectly. There was a saying among my friends in college:
"if anybody thinks a thought which should not be said because it would be
inappropriate due to the circumstances, Jeremy will say it."
In fact, I have always prided himself on my honesty. I am extremely blunt.
I don't mince words. Which was why I was single now and not still dating
Michele. She just couldn't deal with it. Drove her crazy.
So I debated with myself for two days on whether or not to call and leave
a message for this girl. I was just at the lower end of her age spectrum
(I turned 23 two weeks ago). Finally, I decided that it couldn't hurt to
try. Hell, if she was strong enough to leave a message, I was strong
enough to reply.
I got home from work and dialed the number to leave a message. "Hi, my
name is Jeremy. I listened to your voice ad. It's pretty uncanny, but you
basically described me. All you lacked was my name. A little about myself:
I'm 5'11", 170 pounds. I have dark brown hair and green eyes. My favorite
activities are sports. I play just about every one there is.
My favorites are tennis, football, and skiing. I played football for the
University of Michigan for two years before I had to quit due to an
injury. I also really like to watch movies, both at home and in a cinema."
I then told her about the saying my friends had about me at college.
Finally, I left my phone number in case she was interested.
***
Nothing happened for two weeks. I wondered what was going on, and toyed
with leaving another message. But I thought better and even started to
curse myself for leaving the message in the first place. I walked into my
apartment and saw that there was a message on my answering machine. I put
my briefcase down on the counter, fixed myself a sandwich, and listened to
the message while eating the sandwich.
It was her. Susan. She had been out of the country on a business trip and
so she wasn't able to check and answer her messages. She apologized
profusely. She then indicated that she was interested in meeting me. She
left her number and requested that I return her call.
After the answering machine shut off, I wasted no time. The sandwich in my
hand, long forgotten, dropped to the floor immediately as both hands
reached for the phone. I listened as the phone rang... once... twice...
three times. Finally, it was answered... by her answering machine. I
waited, and after the tone, left a message. I was just concluding the
message when she picked up the phone.
"Hi, Jeremy! I was hoping you'd call. I just walked in from work." That
sexy voice was there again.
"Hi, Susan. I thought we might be playing more phone tag. How are you?" I
replied.
We got the preliminary stuff over, and then settled down to a deep
discussion that ranged over a number of topics. Compatibility didn't seem
to be a problem. We got along great. Finally, about 4 hours later, we
decided that we should get together and meet in person. We threw about
plans until we decided on meeting at a small restaurant. We set the time
for the next evening, then hung up.
I couldn't concentrate at all the next day at work. Mostly, I just sat
there and stared off into space. I tried to picture what she looked like
in my mind, using the description she gave. Of course, there were many
possible variations based on that information, but I settled on the
best-case and worst-case scenario. I knew that she'd be somewhere in
between them, but I hoped closer to the best. Time crawled, but finally I
finished up and went home to change my clothes.
I looked into my closet, trying to figure out what to wear. "I feel like a
girl. I'm looking into a closet full of clothes, but I can't figure out
what to wear," I muttered to myself. Finally, I decided to go somewhat
casual, so I grabbed a pair of jeans and a nice shirt. That would have to
do. Besides, it's what I normally wore, so if she didn't like it, she
wasn't for me. That part was easy.
I drove to the cafe. It seemed like forever before I got there. I parked
my car in the little lot behind the restaurant, and scanned the other cars
in the lot, trying to figure out which was hers. I finally gave up and
walked into the restaurant.
The restaurant was essentially empty. There was one person at the counter,
and he definitely wasn't my date for the evening. I glanced down at my
watch, and noted that I was about 10 minutes early. So I grabbed a seat, a
booth in the back, and sat down and tried to relaxed. My heart was beating
a little faster than normal. I ordered a Coke and started watching the
door, looking for her.
One minute dragged into five. Five into ten. Still no sign. I thought back
to the phone conversation the previous night. I was sure that I was in the
right place at the right time. At least I was if my memory served me
correctly. "Oh, stop it," I chided myself. "You're just nervous. She'll be
here."
And indeed she was. I recognized her immediately as she walked in the
door. I waved to her, catching her eye. She strode to the back of the
restaurant where I was seated. Being a gentleman, I stood up and
introduced myself. We shook hands and met eyes. Time seemed to freeze. We
didn't notice the waiter approach us to ask if the lady would like a
drink; we just stood there frozen in the handshake. Finally, the waiter
was able to break the spell and we sat down.
My scenarios were wrong. She didn't look anything like the girl that I had
pictured. Initially, she wasn't even close to my best-case scenario. But
there was something undeniably sexy about her. It might have been the way
she carried herself, the way she walked, that gleam in her eyes. Her smile
definitely helped. She had a beautiful smile. It lit up her entire face. I
also noticed that she had incredible legs.
Although she was walking toward me, I could still tell. And I could tell
that they were really smooth and creamy. She had kind of pale skin, with
just a hint of a tan. Those blue eyes were extremely beautiful, too. They
were at once open and seemingly innocent, but lurking behind there was a
certain kind of mischief. My heart nearly thumped in my chest now that she
was there.
We dove into the conversation at once. Soon, our food was served, but the
conversation never stopped. Our mothers had always told us to eat with our
mouths closed and to never talk with our mouth full, but tonight all rules
were off. We sat there and talked for about two hours. Finally, we decided
that we should go. I opened the door for her, and on the way out I
suggested that we go for a walk around one of the small lakes downtown.
She looked at the sunset and then at me and said yes.
We started out around the lake, amazed by the beauty of the setting sun
reflected off the smooth lake. The setting was almost too perfect, like
some scene out of a Harlequin romance. As we walked, we slowly edged
closer together. I finally decided that I would try my luck (although, it
really wasn't that much of a chance) and I put my arm around her. She
immediately moved closer to me so that my arm would reach farther around
her. I rested his hand on the rise of her hip. Several things exploded in
my mind.
This just feels so natural, so good, so right. There was also a huge,
quasi-electric spark that hit my brain when I first rested my hand on her
hip. I was sure that if my brain really was a microchip, there would be
smoke rising from it from overload. Before I really even realized what I
was doing, I had turned her around to face me, and I was kissing her.
About 5 seconds into the kiss I realized what I was doing. And if there
would have been smoke before, the whole thing would have blown up now.
I placed my lips on hers, and felt her hesitate for a moment, surprised.
Then she returned my kiss with full force. All romantic feelings we felt
for each other were set aside during that kiss in favor of the unbridled
lust we felt for each other. The kiss became more and more intense, and
soon our tongues were dancing together. We also were hugging each other
tightly.
We broke the kiss and stood there looking at each other for a moment. We
walked arm in arm for a while longer before she dragged me off the path
toward an apartment building. She dug in her pocket for her keys,
explaining that she lived there. She finally found the key, and soon we
were on our way up the stairs to her apartment.
She unlocked the two locks and opened the door. We walked in through the
entryway, and she locked the door behind us. She walked into the kitchen
and stopped, looking around, seemingly puzzled. That's all the farther she
got.
I met her with a kiss in the middle of the kitchen. Again, our kiss became
almost desperate. As my tongue explored her mouth I could hear her little
moans of passion. I pressed into her, kissing her more deeply. That only
made her hotter. We started to grind together as we kissed.
My hands ranged southward to cup her ass. I gave it a couple of gentle
squeezes and felt her respond against me. She didn't waste any time: she
slid one hand around and started rubbing my growing erection through my
pants. I let out a sigh of pleasure.
I took that as a cue that I could progress further. I let go of her ass
and started massaging her breasts through the sheer blouse she wore. But
that wasn't quite good enough, so I unbuttoned her blouse. She shrugged it
off her shoulders without even breaking the kiss. The blouse dropped to
the floor around our feet. I reached back and unsnapped her bra with one
hand. That prompted her to break the kiss. "Impressive." I smiled back
with pride and looked down to see what I was uncovering.
Her breasts were about medium sized, with dark nipples that were hard and
pouty. They sagged just enough to give credence to their size. I played
with the edges of her breasts. I worked my way inward until I was almost
at the nipple, then I worked my way back out. Meanwhile, I had kissed my
way from her mouth back to her ear. I began to nibble and suck on her
earlobe.
I could tell that Susan was trying to shift her breasts in my hands so
that I would have to touch her nipples. It seemed like she was aching for
him to touch them. I continued to nibble on her ear and tease her breasts.
She was breathing harder now. I then moved down to her neck, still kissing
and nibbling. That drew moans from her. It was time for the kill.
I paused with my hands, then pinched both of her nipples firmly. I rolled
them between my thumb and forefinger. She uttered a small shriek. She
began to tremble as I rolled her nipples. She moaned once more, then
slumped against me. "Oh my God. That was so good! Enough of this... I want
you now!" she said between pants. I was only too happy to oblige. I backed
her up against the kitchen table and started working on the zipper on her
skirt. I unfastened it and let it drop to the floor. With a flip of her
leg, Susan kicked the skirt so that it ended up right next to her blouse.
I marvelled at her panties. They were black and lacy, hiding just enough
to be extremely sexy. I then slid those down her legs, caressing her legs
on the way down, and finding that my observations about them were right on
the money. They were extremely creamy and smooth. I kissed her legs on the
way back up. She unbuttoned my shirt, removed it, and threw it on the
floor. My pants were next, although she did have some trouble unbuttoning
them in her frenzy. My boxers soon followed. She looked down and stared at
my erect penis. I'm not overly long, but I am pretty big around.
I kissed down to her breasts and started kissing each nipple. I alternated
pinching them between my lips and sucking on them. I left a trail down to
her bellybutton and stuck my tongue in it. That elicited a moan and a
little giggle. As I kissed down further, I lifted her up on the table so
that she was sitting on the edge. As I neared her pubic mound, I could
smell her musky aroma and it drove me wild. I immediately dove in with my
tongue. I licked along the lips, feeling her tremble with pleasure. Her
taste was unusual, but delicious nevertheless. I made a couple of laps
around her lips before I used my hands to part them. I glanced up and down
the rift, seeing her clitoris and the opening farther south. I saved the
latter for later, and feverishly attacked her clit.
As soon as my tongue touched her clit, she jumped, almost knocking me
over, "Ohmigod!!" I slowly swirled around her clit, using my hands to try
to keep her hips in one place. I pushed down and around on her clit,
eliciting excited moans that bordered on screams. I started being more
firm on her clit, working in some sucking. Again she started trembling
uncontrollably, so I had to stop. "If you stop right now, I'll kill you!"
she screamed at me. Faced with that, I dove back in. I have one long suck
on her clit and she mashed her pussy into my face, letting out a load
moan. She hit my face two more times before she relaxed, slumping back on
the table.
I then noticed that my face and chest were drenched. I've been with some
women that were "moist", but after this one I felt like I'd been through a
rain forest. Not that I'm complaining. Her scent surrounded me and drove
me even crazier.
She looked at me, dripping with her juices, and motioned me over to her.
She took my penis in her hands and drew it to her mouth. She gave me a
couple of long strokes which nearly sent me over the edge. She was
talented with that tongue! She took me out of her mouth and proceeded to
drag me onto the table by my erection. Of course, I followed without a
moment's hesitation.
When I was finally up there, she shoved me onto my back (she wasn't taking
no for an answer). She the clenched teeth. My reply was unintelligible. It
felt so good. She was so wet and so tight at the same time. It was
indescribable.
She sat there for the longest time, with a look of total contentment on
her face. "Just keep this thing inside of me and world peace will arrive
in our lifetime," it seemed to say. Then agonizingly slowly, she began to
move up and down. Her moans became a long low lustful groan.
Looking back, I was afraid that my face would be frozen like that because
of muscle cramps. I tried to keep up with her pace, but even as athletic
as I am, she quickly out paced me. I just couldn't keep up. Not that I
really needed to. She was doing enough work for a threesome.
I was concentrating so intently on the passion in my hips and her
expression of total bliss that I almost didn't hear the small moans and
screams that she was emitting as she experienced small orgasms. They
seemed to emerge from a fog.
Finally, I just couldn't take any more. "OH GOD I'M CUMMING!" I yelled as
I started pumping furiously up into her.
At the critical point, I thrust upward and held my hips up. I was in that
position for what seemed like an eternity before my body finally let go of
the tension that had built up. My orgasm felt more intense as I could feel
the streams of semen pouring out of me.
And apparently that was all she needed to go over the edge. "Oh, yes, your
hot come feels so goood!" she screamed back at me as she trembled faster
and faster. She arched her back, threw herself back down on my penis one
more time, and froze.
She then slowly relaxed and finally slumped against me.
Totally exhausted, she allowed all of her weight to rest on me. I just
laid there and held her, caressing her back. We stayed like that for about
10 minutes before she raised her head. I leaned my head up and kissed her.
She broke the kiss and smiled at me. "That was beautiful!" And all I could
do was nod in agreement.
She suggested that w we would be more comfortable. I agreed, and we
started shifting around to get down from the table. We heard a huge creak,
and the table finally gave out. One of the legs broke and the table
collapsed.
We got up from the floor where we had been unceremoniously dumped and
looked at the poor table. It had held up just long enough. "Forget it, it
was an old table. Besides, it was more than on the kitchen table. We made
love all night, finally falling asleep at about 5 am. It took every ounce
of will I possessed to leave her when the alarm went off. I went home,
showered, dressed, and went to work.
Now whenever my coworkers read the personals for kicks during lunch, I
just sit there and smile to myself. And when they ask me how I met my new
girlfriend, I just smile at them, and tell them the answer is in their
hands. |
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