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After another few moments of stony silence Karen,
full now of hate, guilt, remorse and, most of all an overpowering jealous
rage, growled, "Get out - both of you," pointing an outstretched finger at
first Shelley and then Tom. "Go on! Right now - get the hell out of here
and don't ever come back!"
Janet started to intervene by pleading, "Karen, darling, it's not what you
think - " but Karen became even more vehement, her voice now rising in
both volume and pitch. "You two! I said get the fuck out of here. Now!
Pick up and just leave."
Something in Karen's voice left no room for negotiation and Tom looked at
his wife and just shrugged. Then he leaned forward and attempted to plant
a light parting kiss to Janet's cheek, but she averted her head and
avoided it. Finally he climbed down from the bed and retrieved his clothes
from a chair against the wall as his wife did the same. Without another
word they both hastily moved past Karen and out the door and down the
stairs.
Karen didn't move at all until she heard the front door open and close.
Then she walked over to her mother's side and looked down at her with an
expression of unbridled scorn as her eyes began to well with tears born of
deep hurt, jealousy, frustration and utter betrayal. For the longest time
she couldn't bring herself to move as myriad emotions staged what seemed
like a life and death struggle inside her.
As she raised her head and surveyed the dimly lit room her eyes came to
rest on the various objects strewn about on the bedspread. As she took
them in she felt like she was staring at a complete layout of an adult toy
catalog. Mostly there were a number of various types of whips and dildos
along with handcuffs, rope and a couple of other shackling devices. There
were also the ubiquitous clothespins and smaller objects that looked like
long metal clamps with teeth in them. For Karen it was an unbelievable
sight and it confounded her. She knew her mother was into pain, but she
had no idea that she would go to these lengths.
Acting as if driven by some outer force she finally leaned over and
grabbed the largest dildo on the bed. It seemed humongous to her. As she
gazed at it in her hand she heard her mother say, "Darling, won't you
please untie me and let's talk about this - please."
Her voice now icy cold and unemotional Karen said, still staring at the
dildo, "Why, mother? Why should I untie you? This is what you want, isn't
it. This is what you've wanted all along. This is what you've wanted from
me and I wouldn't give it to you so you got it elsewhere because you just
had to have it. You're sick, mother, do you know that - you're sick.
After catching her breath she continued in the same cold manner, "Well,
mother, your going to get your wish. I'm going to give you just what you
want."
Janet was now becoming increasingly frightened by Karen's strange tone of
voice, one which she had never heard before and she began begging,
"Please, dearest - just untie me and let's talk this through. When we've
both cooled down a little you'll begin to see this for what it really is."
"You don't think I know what this is, huh? DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID??" she
shouted. "Well, it's pretty obvious to me what all this is about, mommy
dearest. I've let you down and wouldn't satisfy your desires. Well that's
going to change right now. I'm about to give you everything you could
possibly ever have dreamed of. You're - going - to - just - love - it,"
she ended sarcastically, biting off each word.
Turning on her heel and walking to a position in back of her mother, Karen
grasped the base end of the dildo firmly in one hand and leaned over.
"Spread your legs further open. Now!"
"Please, Karen, can't we just talk about this?" her mother pleaded once
again.
"You won't spread, is that it? OK - then you'll just have to take it this
way."
With her free hand she inserted a finger between her mother's asscheeks
and quickly found the anal opening. She then directed the end of the dildo
to the position and without warning jammed it roughly forward. As if her
rectum had already been prepared for it, the dildo didn't meet much
resistance at first which prompted Karen to keep pushing on it until it
was sunk up to its entire length in Janet's asshole. This caused a cry of
real pain from her mother, but Karen appeared to be quite unconcerned.
"Feel good, does it, mother? I'm glad your enjoying it because this is
only the beginning." With tears running down her cheeks and an expression
of true distress on her face Janet turned to her daughter and said, "Oh,
please, Karen..."
"No need to be polite now, is there, mother. You're getting what you want
- and deserve. Now - let's see here," Karen said as she eyed the objects
on the bed. "We have a real assortment. These things look really
interesting." She picked up a couple of the metal alligator clips and
opened and closed the jaws between her fingers. "I wonder what these are
used for? Clothespins not enough, eh. Now we're into metal teeth. I bet
these really feel good."
Her face drawn with bitterness, she knelt down beside her mother and
roughly grabbed on of her breasts by the nipple and pulled it out to the
side causing Janet to once more cry out in pain as her nipple was
stretched to its limit. "Let's see how this feels," Karen said
capriciously as she placed the large metal clip to the nipple and let go.
Janet's body now began to struggle against the combined pain of the clip
and that of the dildo invading her rectum and she fought vainly to free
her wrists from the bedposts.
Very slowly and deliberately Karen picked up another alligator clip and
walked around behind Janet and affixed it to her other nipple. "Please,
darling..." Janet begged, but the only response from her daughter was a
resounding slap across the face.
"There. That's what you like, right? Well, you're getting it. Now stop
whining and enjoy it, you fucking slut - you whorish dyke bitch." After a
pause to consider, Karen mused wryly, "Hmmmm, let's see. What should we do
next. Maybe we should blindfold you and put a gag in your mouth. But no -
I want you to see what's going on and I really want to here you scream."
The thought of her mother screaming suddenly reminded Karen that she
hadn't yet looked in on the baby.
"Wait here, bitch, while I check on your granddaughter - not that you're
going anywhere" Checking to make sure Karen was securely bound Karen then
departed the room for the nursery leaving Janet on her knees hanging from
the bedposts and sobbing hysterically. When she returned five minutes
later her footsteps sounded to Janet as if she were even more determined
than before. Karen walked over to the side of the bed within Janet's view
and looked squarely at her.
"Well, I'm new to this and don't have the obvious subtlety of your years
of experience so I'm just going to have to do what comes to mind and I
can't think of anything else now except a good sound whipping."
"Karen..." her mother sobbed.
"Don't Karen me, you filthy slut. Quit your sniveling," Karen retorted
viciously, "This is what you wanted and this is what you're going to get
so stop acting like a baby." Looking again at the array of whips and
paddles on the bed her eyes came to rest on a particularly mean looking
instrument. It had a black leather wrapped handle about a foot long from
which trailed a number of thin black leather strips, each of which was
knotted at the end.
"I think this looks appropriate. What do you think, mother," she said
cheerfully as she picked up the whip. As Janet saw what she was referring
to a look of real fear crossed her face which caused Karen to remark,
"Ahhh, I can see you're at least familiar with this, huh. Good. I think
it's appropriate for the situation. It's called a cat-o-nine-tails isn't
it. Except that this cat appears to have a few more than nine tails."
Suddenly Karen raised her arm with the whip high over her head and brought
it down with a resound crack of the bedspread. "Yes indeed. This will do
very nicely."
Eyes wide with fright, Janet followed her daughter as Karen slowly walked
to position herself to one side of her. "Now," she intoned, "for all your
sins mother, you are about to receive the punishment you deserve and have
waited so long for. Say your prayers!" And with that, Karen reared back
and brought the whip down with all the force she could muster at an angle
across her mother's jutting ass cheeks.
The whip made a loud "pflattt" sound as it met Janet's flesh. The pain was
like nothing Janet had ever before experienced. It seared through her
whole body and caused it to jerk as if high voltage had been applied and
the howl which left her throat half deafened both of them. Karen left no
room for Janet to even begin to recover as she once more brought the whip
down on her mother's ass. Again Janet screamed as if to wake the world.
Karen hesitated and looked down at her handiwork. The two lashes had left
a wealth of angry red trails traversing both of Janet's buttocks from her
waist to her upper thighs. Before Karen's eyes the marks from the second
lash began to swell and form ugly welts some of which began to bleed, the
blood appearing in places and slowly trickling downward, mingling with the
residue of the first lash.
Suddenly everything collapsed in Karen in a flash; in a moment of crystal
clarity and she knew it was all over. She began to sob uncontrollably as
she stepped forward and undid the bindings holding her mother's wrists.
Janet, surprised at the sudden change, looked up at Karen and managed to
say, "Oh, Karen..." before she was cut off with, "Just shut up mother. I
want you to leave this house and never, ever come back again. I never want
to see or hear from you again, ever."
Karen then dropped the whip and fell to her knees, covering her face as
she continued to cry. Janet got shakily to her feet, her knees wobbly from
having been in the kneeling position for so long and approached her
daughter. With one hand she rubbed her now swollen posterior smearing
blood all over and with the other reached out and laid it on Karen's
shoulders. No sooner had she done so than Karen viciously knocked it away
and snarled, "GET OUT - NOW! I hate you. I never want to ever lay eyes on
you again. Get your things and leave."
Resigned to the moment, Janet proceeded to leave the room at which point
Karen collapsed on the floor and curled herself up in a fetal position.
How long she remained on the floor she didn't know. She seemed to have a
vague recollection of hearing the front door close, but it seemed so far
off. Bestirring herself the first thing she noticed was that she was fully
dressed and that the room was completely dark - the candles must have gone
out. For a second or two she couldn't figure out why on earth she had
fallen asleep on the floor of her mother's room.
Her memory then kicked in like a thunder clap and she recalled the whole
series of previous events in a fraction of a second. To her credit her
next thought was of the baby. Rising as quickly as she could she made her
way groggily to the nursery only to discover that her daughter was fast
asleep and breathing normally as if nothing had happened at all. If only
she knew, thought Karen as she once again began to silently cry.
In a couple of minutes she had gathered her wits about her enough to think
and hoped beyond hope that maybe her mother hadn't left after all and was
just asleep downstairs or in her, Karen's room. Leaving the nursery she
peeked into her bedroom which was empty. She then went downstairs turning
on the stairwell lights and looked around the living room. No Janet. She
then toured the rest of the house only to discover that a number of her
mother's things like toilet articles, her purse and her coat were no
longer to be found in their usual places. She had, in fact, actually left.
At a loss for what to do she headed back to the nursery and slumped into
the one stuffed chair there and tried to sort out what had happened. It
was all a jumble and she just couldn't seem to grasp and hold onto any
single thing that provided her a jumping off point to organize her
thoughts and feelings. All she was really aware of was an all pervading
hurt and sadness. As she became conscious of this and remarked on it to
herself she once again fell into a troubled slumber only to be awakened by
her daughter's crying.
As she opened her eyes she was almost blinded by the sun coming in the
window. Squinting, she rose and went to the crib and picked up the baby
and carried it with her downstairs. There she made herself a pot of coffee
and when it was finished and she had drunk half a cup she sat down on the
sofa with the child in her arms and started to breast feed it.
No sooner had the baby began to suckle than that now familiar erotic
tension started to tingle through her insides. Up till now Karen had been
functioning in a daze brought on by the necessity of her body and mind to
shut out the previous night's activities and feelings. The physical
stirrings engendered by the child at her breast, however, overrode the
blocking mechanism and allowed her memory and emotions to surface.
It was just too much for her and she to cry again. Realizing that it the
action of the baby's mouth she gently removed the child from her breast
and lay it on the sofa. She then went into the kitchen and got out the
newly purchased baby bottles and nipples, heated a little milk in a pan
and tried for the first time to bottle feed the infant. To her surprise,
it went without a hitch and she was overjoyed.
As she sat feeding her child she once more entered that fog that allowed
her to escape the unpleasantness of her situation - until the phone rang.
Still not thinking, she put the child down and got up and answered it. The
shock of her mother's voice on the other end saying, "Karen, darling.
Please..." was such a jolt that she immediately slammed the receiver back
into its cradle and stood stock still as she tried to deal with the mass
confusion of her feelings.
The rest of the day was much the same as she went mindlessly about the
normal routine of her life. About every two hours the phone would ring.
The first couple of times she answered it and discovering it was her
mother she hung up without saying a word. Then she just didn't bother to
answer it at all, but just let it ring.
During the next two days the phone rang progressively less and on the
third day not one call came in at all. On the fifth day, the phone did
ring and she decided to answer it. It wasn't her mother but rather Tom
Krispin. He began to plead with her to be reasonable and to tell her what
a troubled woman her mother was. By now, Karen had developed a protective
shell of ambivalence to what had happened and when she had heard enough
simply hung up gently.
***
One evening about a week and a half later she sat watching a prime time
sitcom in which a mother was joshing her daughter about her love life.
Something in the comedic patter triggered Karen and brought about a surge
of guilt about how she had treated her mother. It was at this juncture
that she began to return to some semblance of her normal healthy self.
Realizing, of course, that the situation with her mother had been
cataclysmic and that it could never flourish as it had in those few
idyllic weeks she nonetheless felt that she needed to repair the damage
she had caused.
Immediately she went to the phone and found the Krispins number. They were
home, but when Karen said she wanted to speak to her mother she was told
rather coldly that Janet had returned to California the previous day. She
then tried the California number but it didn't answer.
She tried without success and a mounting sense of dread to phone her
mother for three days running. Finally, on the fourth day her mother
picked up the phone. When Karen tried to apologize in her attempt to
reconcile matters her mother simply said in what sounded to Karen like an
infinitely tired voice that she thought that Karen needed to lead her own
life and that things would be much better if they severed forever their
relationship. With that the phone went dead in Karen's hand.
Karen went into an immediate funk and spend the remainder of the evening
crying. After a night of fitfully tossing and turning she tried again the
next morning to call her mother. When her mother discovered it was her
daughter on the line she hung up.
Karen was beside herself with hurt and despair. She didn't know now what
to do so she did nothing. And continued doing nothing day in and day out
except the bare necessary tasks to keep herself and her baby alive. She
only went outdoors to shop. She sat for long hours in one room or another
of the house just staring without seeing. This went on until a neighbor
couple down the block who she and Harold had been friendly with sensed
that something was wrong and decided to investigate. When Karen answered
the door they were horrified at her appearance. When they tried to enter
they got far enough in to discover that the house was a wreck and a mess
before being rudely shoved back out and the door closed in their faces.
Harold had also not received a letter from Karen for some time now and
became concerned. When he tried to call he got no answer. After three days
of trying he in turn received a call from the neighbors apprising him of
the situation. He applied for an immediate hardship leave, which was
granted, and was on the first flight out. Two days later he entered the
house late in the evening. He could not have believed in his wildest
imaginations the state of affairs that confronted him. When he found Karen
upstairs in bed she was totally incommunicative.
Finally he called the family physician who made a rare house call. The
doctor called an ambulance and Karen was taken downtown to St. Lukes where
she admitted to the psych ward.
After two weeks of constant medical care Karen returned home. She was
quiet and withdrawn, but otherwise appeared to function somewhat like her
old self. In the meantime, Harold had requested an immediate hardship
transfer and received it. He now spent the days at home caring for both
Karen and the baby.
Try as he did, he could not get one word out of Karen about what had
happened. She absolutely refused to even acknowledge the subject when it
came up. When he called his mother-in-law she likewise just hung up.
Querying the physicians about her condition, they would immediately claim
client-doctor privilege, but did tell him that she had undergone and
emotional shock which had the equivalent force of post traumatic stress
syndrome and that time was needed for her to recover - lots of time. He
would simply have to wait until Karen decided to tell him herself which
may or may not ever happen. The outlook was guarded, they said.
Harold and Karen's sex life never again resumed. At a time when it looked
like she might be approachable to even take a hint, Karen went stone cold
and took to sleeping in the guest bedroom. Soon thereafter she began to go
out by herself for an hour or two in the evenings. She never announced she
was leaving, but rather just put on her coat and left. When Harold tried
gently to find out what was going on Karen told him it was none of her
business. These nightly ventures forth began to get longer and longer
until one night Karen didn't come home at all.
To his credit, Harold didn't panic at first - he had decided to just wait
her out. After two days when she didn't appear he called the police and
filed a missing persons report. He then undertook a massive one-man hunt
for her. She was nowhere to be found. No one had seen her and constant
checks with the police and coroner came up empty. It was like she had
vanished from the face of the earth.
***
Weeks became months. The baby grew. Harold resumed his job with the
service and had now been permanently transferred to 5th Army headquarters
in Chicago. He hired a full-time live-in nanny, an older woman with
excellent references who figuratively became the child's mother. Still
Harold did not give up his pursuit of Karen, but nothing bore fruit; Karen
was not to be found.
After a year, a friend of Harold's in the provost marshal's office
suggested he might try a private detective. The friend knew of a highly
recommended PI. He was contacted.
Three months and many thousands of dollars later a report came back. The
news was not good.
Through unnamed sources the detective managed to find out that Karen had
originally been frequenting lesbian bars on the near north side. At some
point it seems she had made the acquaintance of a woman from San Francisco
vacationing in Chicago. They paired up and Karen had gone to S.F. with her
intending to stay for a few days. Friends there said that she was so much
in love that she no longer wanted to go back to Chicago. That had been
three months previously.
Those same friends related that both Karen and her lover had suddenly
pulled up stakes and left for Europe. They gave up their apartment and
just took off without a word to anyone as to where or when they would
return. No one knew where they were or if they would ever return.
A few weeks later, out of the blue, Harold received a phone call from his
mother-in-law late one night. Janet apologized to Harold for her former
rudeness, but was not forthcoming with any explanation of what had
transpired during her visit except to say that Karen had asked her to
leave and that she had done so. Harold told Janet in detail what he had
found on his return home, what had happened and the steps he had taken to
find Karen. Janet then promised to undertake her own inquiries and report
to Harold if she found out anything.
As it turned out, Janet reported back to Harold that she had taken a week
off work and went up to San Francisco. Using her numerous contacts there
she managed to discover that Karen and her lover had been heavily into the
BDSM scene. They were both well known and well liked. But there the trail
ended. The only thing anyone knew now is that they had left for Europe and
nothing had been heard of them since then.
Harold toyed with the idea of taking another extended leave and going to
Europe to search for Karen, but his funds were now so limited that it just
wasn't feasible. He also had finally come to the acceptance that if Karen
wanted any further contact with him and her daughter she would be the one
to initiate it. He was right.
Early into the second year of her disappearance, Harold arrived home from
work one Friday night to find in the day's mail a foreign looking
envelope. It bore foreign stamps and was postmarked from a place in
Austria called Graz; it had no return address. With pounding heart he
opened the letter and found a short note and a single small photograph
inside.
The photograph had been taken during warm weather and showed two women,
smiling into the camera, dressed in shorts and blouses standing in what
looked like a mountain meadow. One woman was definitely Karen - same tall,
statuesque physique, same hair, same face. No doubt about it. Nothing was
written on the back of the photo.
The letter was likewise obviously from Karen having been written in her
unique rolling hand script. It was not really a letter, but rather just a
short note which read: "Dear Harold. I'm so sorry for all the trouble I
know I've caused you. Things are better now. I will write again. Give my
love to Emily."
And it was signed, "Janet"
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